Its about making memories worth repressing
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
