I skipped work to stalk him.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I can't turn off my feet"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Randomize
