well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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