Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
