He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
