why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
