I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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