What did we do last night that was yellow?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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