I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
