Pappa wants mamma naked
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
it was like eating out sand paper
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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