Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
