you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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