dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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