would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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