We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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