you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize