Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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