im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I don't think brook has ever known best
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
