They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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