morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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