I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
