There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
