It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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