My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
my liver is dry heaving
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
