Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
