Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
