I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
