Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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