is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
