I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
