He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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