Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
