he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
