How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
