He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
