i can't believe i had my finger in that
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
