thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
