trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
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I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
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I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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