HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
