There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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