can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You've changed since you got that strap on
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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