you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
