Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
