A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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