You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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