woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
