I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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