Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
