just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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