Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
