There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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