No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
COCAINE IS GR8
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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