U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
