and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
