Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
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All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
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What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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