matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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