It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
