Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
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