do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
