my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize