I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
