if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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