who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Randomize
