Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
