Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My hand turned me down
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
