Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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