my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
